How do you control a 4 year old, time out, etc doesnt seem to work?

She doesnt listen, she disobeys. I am her step father, so I cant back hand her like needs to be done, Ive taken toys away, tried time out, which is a crock of sh** cuz it doesnt work, shes constantly screaming and making a fool of herself, and it doesnt seem to be that big of a deal to her, I KNOW, shes 4, but come on, my mom told me none of my siblings or me acted like this, and I like to think I am raising her the same way my parents raised me. I think the underlying problem is her pot head loser father, but I dunno